Turning False Thinking Into Positive Thinking For Children Of Domestic Violence

Dear Priscilla Bennett Friends,

I read this article on breaking the cycle of domestic violence in children’s lives and wanted to share some of it with you.

Here are 4 falsehoods that children learn in domestic violence homes and how to counteract them:

“I AM FEARFUL. BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN.” Growing up under the constant threat of violence in the home can make a person constantly on high alert. Instead think, “I HAVE MORE COURAGE THAN I KNOW.” It takes incredible strength to survive growing up and surviving a home where domestic violence was prevalent. You are resilient.

“IT WAS MY FAULT. I CAUSED IT AND I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT.” Children think emotionally, not rationally. Carrying around guilt can be common, and can lead to feelings of unworthiness and shame. Instead think, “I NOW REALIZE THAT I COULDN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS.” Sharing your story with others helps.

“ANGER GIVES ME THE POWER AND CONTROL I NEVER HAD.” Instead think, “I TRANSFORM THE IMPULSE OF ANGER AND RESENTMENT INTO PASSION.” Feel a sense of power by controlling your anger and transforming it into a passion to achieve your dreams instead.

“GOOD THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE LIKE ME.” Children can feel hopeless when witnessing domestic violence, and they may feel like nothing they do makes a difference. Instead think, “THE INJUSTICE I EXPERIENCED AS A CHILD CREATED A SPIRITUAL STRENGTH INSIDE ME.” Your life has a purpose. Believe that you made it through your childhood because you are special and guided, and there is something here for you to do and become.

For more information go to cdv.org.

Take good care of yourselves,