Dear Priscilla Bennett Friends,
The Rob Porter scandal in the White House has brought the domestic violence issue into the spotlight with the opportunity of once again debunking some of the myths. Why don’t the victims just leave? How can a high-profile, hardworking, friendly, successful man be a wife beater? On the surface, it makes no sense. But often this is the case, and under these circumstances, when the wife seeks help, there is none. One misconception is that all perpetrators are monsters when in fact they can be charming and seductive. Porter was described as a man so decent because of his performance in the workplace that he couldn’t have possibly beaten his wives and girlfriend. This point of view makes it very difficult for the victim to leave. Porter’s second ex-wife said, “When I tried to get help, I was counseled to consider carefully how what I said might affect his career. And so I kept my mouth shut and stayed. I was told, yes, he was deeply flawed, but then again so was I. And so I worked on myself and stayed. If he was a monster all the time, perhaps it would have been easier to leave. But he could be kind and sensitive. And so I stayed…”
In my novel, SOMETHING TO BE BRAVE FOR, Katie is married to a famous plastic surgeon who brutalizes her physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. The outside world tells her how lucky she is to be married to him, and that she should appreciate it more than she does. Her parents also support this view and offer no support. He’s talented, handsome, charming and seductive. Her parents picked him for her to marry and don’t want anything to disrupt the union. They tell her if there is a problem in the marriage, it’s her responsibility it fix it. She spends too much time blaming herself and trying to please until she decides she has to get out.
Take good care of yourselves,
PRISCILLA BENNETT XOXO